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Until I have eyes for none,
Until I have a heart for one,
Until my two feet know where to go,
Until three little words start to overflow,
Until I forgive myself and others for the past,
Until I have completed these five last,
I am not ready.
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| Wow. It's pretty amazing how much of an impact a conversation with someone you really respect and admire can do. I'm not even sure the other person is aware of just how comforting it was, but to be able to talk to someone you trust and is full of wisdom...so refreshing, and so comforting. It reminds me of just how important it is to be with people that you respect, and even more so the importance of stepping up and being that person to others. I have a long ways to go in the latter department, but I can keep striving and keep growing.
On that note, I think I'm going to start writing about people that I really respect. These types of people are those that, even if I'm not that close to the person, I can see their true worth, and are people that I look up to in their own way. These are people that I would never doubt their nature, and while they have many, many shortcomings, in their life they are defined by their strengths and not their weaknesses. A while ago I wrote about Clarissa, and how she lives a life above reproach--a life without the "buts" (haha...I still laugh at that. So immature.) What I mean is, she does not invite skepticism or doubt about her values. Often you hear "(s)he's really nice, BUT...", and then you know that "but" is actually really important. For Clarissa, she doesn't have any "buts" (hehe!), and I truly respect her for that.
Another person that I respect is Anna. While her life does seem above reproach (she doesn't have a but), what I really admire her for is her straightforwardness and caring nature. It's so refreshing to talk with someone that you know is not fronting a face. To talk with Anna is unlike talking to anyone else, simply because there are no guards. What she says, what she does, and how she acts is who she really is, and she's fine with that. Sometimes she is very blunt, but I would argue that that isn't a weakness at all. It would be if she could not take criticism herself, but when I see her dishing out the piercingly straightforward remarks, I also see her taking back in other people's blunt statements back at her. To give out comments is one thing, but to take in other people's feedback and commit it to heart is another. It's also because of this straightforward nature that you know she cares for people. She doesn't play around--that is pretty much fact. So when she goes out of her way for people, and when she shows concern, you know it's genuine. And that is something that floors me. Genuine concern. Genuine personality. What a weirdo.
To make up a word, I think I learn best through respectivation. It means motivation to be better through respect for another person. Yes, you need to be yourself, and yes you need to know how to rely on your own strength. But not always. There are people in your life that you respect and look up to for a reason. Respectivation. No "buts" :) | | |
| Boo. I think I'm sick.
It's funny, I always pray for wisdom, and that seems to be the one thing that I lack. Every single prayer I have, whether it be while eating or devos, I always ask for wisdom.
Lord, I pray for wisdom.
God, bless this food to our bodies. Also, wisdom please.
But regardless of this, simply put, I don't have it. I can be wise in some things, but in most things I am completely clueless. When put through trials, I fail them. When given situations, I become confused. Of course, there's the other reason too--perhaps I just suck at doing what's right. In any case, what is the right decision. What is the right choice. What is the wise thing to do. Not knowing, or just being bad at it...I get to pick my poison. Bleh. Tastes like medicine.
I'm getting dizzy. I think my meds are kicking in. I'm taking some medication for an itchy head right now. It's weird, I know. I'm not even sure what it is. I think antivirus. I don't think medicine goes well with little sleep too. Anyways. Too bad I can't lay down for another 30min. It's on the prescription :p
Wow big tangent. Um. Never mind. | | |
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Sacred Space (Spoken Word by Amena Brown) - Steve Fee
Yay!
So it's official, I'm going to Japan for an Epic summer mission trip!
To be honest I'm a little scared. I've never been on a mission trip (gasp!), and starting out with this particular one is probably something that I should've considered more :p For one, its an international mission trip, meaning its so much more complicated than staying in the States. Second, its freakin' 7 weeks long. SEVEN. WEEKS. The longest mission I've heard of before is the 3 week one to China, but 7 is seriously...haha. Third, the cost is, well, $5,300. Five thousand, three hundred. Plus airplane tickets. That's more than I made all of last year. It's funny, I didn't even look at the cost before signing up. I'm not sure where all this money is going to come from, but definitely not from me. Truthfully, this is going to be the first time I'm going to have to trust God to provide financially for me. Scaryyy
Wow. $5300. Um. I did not realize how big that amount was till now. God...this is all in your hands.
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What Else Can I Do, - Steve Fee
Your love for me is a healing comfort for me
Your grace to me is a matchless gift to me
Your power in me is a mighty river in me
At the end of the day with the setting of the sun
After all is said and done
What else can i do but worship
what else can i do but bow
'Cause all I really long for is you
And all I really yearn for is you
Your sovereignty is a sure foundation for me
Your care for me is enduring peace in me
Your hope in me brings a sweet surrender to me
At the end of the day with the setting of the sun
After all is said and done
What else can i do but worship
What else can i do but bow
'Cause all I really long for is you
And all i really yearn for is you
What else can i do but worship
What else can i do but bow
'Cause all i really long for is you
All i really yearn for is you
What else can i do but praise you
Join me in the sound of heaven song
'Cause i really long for is you
All i really yearn for is you
All i really need Lord, is You
Constant struggle. Constant reminders. | | |
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